Reflections

What are you looking for?  I sat talking with a friend of mine this morning as she was considering giving away all of her worldly possessions to find and grow closer to God.  As I listened, I momentarily found myself looking around and making a list of things that I wanted.  After all, she was giving it all away.  What I got during those moments is that the divine seemed distant or rather we seemed distant from a divine perspective.  I started to smile and as she leaned forward to bring back to the moment, I felt that the searching was over, complete, done and finished.  Because this was not a conversation about material things, this was a much deeper conversation/revelation than about us.  This conversation was about wanting and needing more truth, peace, joy and hope in that God shaped space within.  The more we talked, laughed and cried; we both realized that until we are willing to give away the greatest gift that we have; our love.  That nothing in our lives or our world would change.  You see change is not a cause; it is an outcome or a response to something in our lives.  In that room, I heard call of a different sort; it was a call to return to truth, to love, to me and when I find me; give that away and then I will have found that for which I have been searching a lifetime.  In other words, there is no real distance between me and my divine self – we are one.  The very reason that there is a God shaped space in my life is because in and out of that space is from where my goodness and worth flows and I am not that different than any of you.  Beginning today, I invite you to be willing to look no further than your own reflection for what you need.  As you find it, release it and make room for its abundant return to you.  Make that connection and you will see what God sees in and as you. 

Into the Light…

Here I go.  Here I come.  Here I am. Here is where I have always belonged.  Believe it!

Here I sit nearing the threshold of my 47^th year in this body.  When I think of the things I have learned I am overwhelmed with gratitude and yet when I think of the amount of things that I may have forgotten, I am saddened by their departure and ultimate absence.  For these were memories of moments once treasured as dear, deep connections to people I once knew as friends, vivid images of beautiful places that I once stood victorious as I trace the faded impressions of my pencil that once recorded the words and thoughts that illumined my mind.  All of that is no more…  Some would say, gone and forgotten, I say simply given.  Gone, Lifted, Shed, Released, Shared and Forgiven!  For the glory of their presence with me and as a part of me I was once fulfilled, today I am free.  Not just free of them; freed by them and thus the reciprocal is also true; they are freed by me.  This thought, brings me great joy.  I know freedom as opposed to knowing only of it.  I know myself as free.  Free of all of the expectations that I once held as facts that shaped my very being and directed my path.  Free to taste things that I have been programmed to dislike.  Free to walk paths that once paralyzed me with fear.  The greatest freedom is to know my own healing; not as an act or a way, but as the reflection of my being in the world.  I am healed, I am free, I am… more of me here and now, and with each passing breath. 

I realize that I was just like Carol Anne in the 1982 film, Poltergeist.  I was told “Stay away from the light. The light is dangerous. Don't go near it. Don't even look at the light.”  Furthermore, I believed it and I did as I was told.  Today I hear a new message that comes not from my family, my mentors, advisors or instructors or others; it comes from my soul.  I hear from the deepest places of my higher self, “You are the light; the light is safe and welcoming.  Run!  Run with all your might and fling yourself with reckless abandon into her arms!  She will catch you; the light that we are will always reach out beyond our belief and catch us.  Look for it and see it in others!  Look at its resonance in the world!  Look into it and see yourself as yourself; for yourself!  So, into the light I go.  Into the light I come.  Into the light, I am forgiven.

In Light & Love,

Kathy

This Is My Story - To Be Continued...

Recently, I was reviewing the requirements to apply for CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) and one of them is to attach a copy of my spiritual autobiography. Over the last few years since entering the ordination process, I have had to write multiple iterations of this story, so I pulled up the last copy and I read through it. By the time that I got to the end, I was in tears… My heart was open and my soul was stirred. Not because of the events of the story, but because all of the events that I described are a part of the past tense version of the story, and I have not just survived; I have moved through them and there is so much more of the story that has unfolded since I last hit print and attached a copy to an application. I have become more of the person that I was always becoming and still there is more of the journey and more of the story ahead of me.

I realized that the stories of our lives are not a finite description of our life experiences, it is a continuum. I am a soul in evolution. We are souls on the move. This morning as I write this, I am different from the person I was when I fell asleep last night. I move forward through and beyond my circumstance. I grow, I change, I evolve, I live, I learn, I AM. Truth is; I am more than my story. This has always been the case; I just did not see it that way. There is more to all of us than what can be captured between once upon a time and happily ever after. There is so much more. My story used to confine me and I thought that I could not break free. That is no longer the case, today I am freer than ever because the story of what was is too small of a box to live and minister from. I stand shaped by the blessings of the past, embraced by the power of the now moment and with the heart of a dreamer and the soul of a visionary; I look toward the future.

Today, I turn the page and pick up a new pen and tell a new story that does not dismiss overcoming the things that people said I could not do, today my life is filled with people who support the journey of what I can do and who I was born to be. Today, I live in the land of Yes I can, because that is what’s in me to do. This is a part of my soul’s purpose in this life.

My life is more than just a story that is captured in words on a page; today my life is set to a different beat that comprises a new song and a new way of being more of me.

For today, this is my story and with each passing moment; it is to be continued…

The List of All Lists

Lately I have noticed the myriad of lists that I have to make in order to keep up with all the things that I need to get done. Sometimes I feel like I need a list that contains all of the names of the other lists, so I will know where to find what comes next.

This morning I found myself making out what I hope to be the list of all lists; my last minute shopping list that contains all of things that I have somehow forgotten to pick up over the last few days. When somewhere among the eggs, sugar, potatoes and nutmeg, I realized all of the time, energy and preparation that I pour into a holiday meals and gatherings. So for a few moments I managed to just still my thoughts, notice my breath and become more aware of my body; just long enough to meditate and hear the voice of my soul assuring me that everything is just as it should be - so let it be... I chose to let the holiday be for me a blessing filled with fun, joy, good food, good deeds and good times. What will you let it be?

My spiritual download for the day is: the perfection that we are striving for already exists right here, right now in each of us. The warmth that we want to create in our hearts and homes will arrive with the presence of each soul. The meals that we are preparing are being prepared on an even deeper level - a soul level. I believe that when we remember to feed the soul all other needs are met.

Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life". For us today, I know that this is still true and in the midst of all of our holiday preparations, know that the Bread has already been prepared by love and is available to nourish, celebrate, strengthen and renew each of us.

So, my list of all lists is more than just what I need to do, what I need to remember or where I need to go, it is:

A Holiday Vision List

I hold for each of you the blessings of:

A shortened to do list!

An extensive gratitude list!

Laugher that rocks the world!

The creation of memories that feed the soul...

The fullness of joy that turns friends into family

and family into loved ones...

Peace & Blessings,
Kathy

In A Different Light

I was working in my home office yesterday morning and I needed a little break from the pace of things. So, I got up and opened the blinds and raised the window to allow more sunlight in. On my way back to my desk, I noticed that the light was telling me something, directing me to a different area of my space. Being enveloped by the light was warm and it felt so special that I closed my eyes and breathed it in. When I returned to the moment, I noticed how the light was pouring through the window and falling gently upon the bookcase. So, I followed the path of the light and my attention was drawn towards a book that was reaching out from among the others. That book was Jon Kabat-Zinn's "Wherever You Go There You Are". I read this book some many years ago and again earlier this year. As I was remembering my time with this book, it fell open to one of the pages that I had folded down. I sometimes fold the pages to mark the things that really reach out and touch my soul. As I read the passage that was marked, I found it to be just what I needed.

I reflected on how we are all on a spiritual path whether we know it or not called life. In the moments that it feels like we have absolutely no direction at all, the truth is we do. We have all the direction that we need for that brief moment in time. That direction unfolds for each of us one breath, one moment and one heartbeat at a time. The true beauty of this thought is that everything is influenced by and connected to everything else. We are so intricately connected by divine design that we are one.

My prayer for you this week is that life will reveal something special to you in the path of the light. I hold for you the newness, the rediscovery and the joy of the light that calls out to you, flows through you and as you.

Today is Day 3 of 100 Things That Changed My Life

Today’s journey into that which has shaped, molded, influenced and guided me is another phrase from western pop culture, “All that and a bag of chips".

My experience of this has been as a compliment that describes the very fullness of something or someone. As I think of this phrase from a spiritual point of view, I see deeper into it’s meaning and today it emerges as the essence of who we were created to be. I believe that we are born originally blessed and that in this incarnation (life) we are meant to be whole, blessed, complete creations. The trick to this, I think is that I have to believe this, no; I have to be willing to know this about myself and everything that is around me. I have to shift my very awareness to know that I am all that I am created to be.

Being all that seems like hard work; what life has taught me is that is true when I choose to be all that others need, want and expect me to be. When this is the case, I find myself trying to accomplish things with my own steam, reaching beyond who I am to become something for another. Think into this with me; if just for a moment, a day, a week… we could experience the wherewithal to just be who we are in the present moment with no regard to whether we are doing it right or wrong or trying to balance the voice of our soul and society and landing somewhere in between. If we could be all that we are, the world would change and I would have to introduce myself to you all over again and vice versa because I think that we may not recognize each other.

So today my friends where ever you are, I choose to begin to see the “allness” (new word) of who you are before me. Today, I step with you into a new consciousness that allows us to see all that there is with new eyes, create a new world from the blessing of our very being. Today I see you as all that and a bag of chips – I see you as the light, love, hope, peace and grace that you were created to be. I see this world, myself and all that is around me as all that it was created to be. I invite you to speak your own words of new life and know that what you create is good…because you are all that and a bag of chips, you are everything that is needed right where you are – be that!

Peace and Infinite Possibilities,
Kathy

Day Two of 100 Days - The Story of Everything that has Influenced & Changed My Life...

Today, I left my home in Central Florida and drove over towards the west coast of Florida for a meeting. The morning was quite serene and the sunrise was delicate and inviting. I watched the fog lift as I approached and the birds floating on the distant horizon and in the middle of all of this beauty taking its place just before the raising of the curtain of this new day; I realized what direction we would take today.

Of the 100 things that have changed my life, today’s musing come from a western pop culture phrase, “Bring it!”

Sometimes I wonder aloud, if I am living my true purpose… I wonder if I am doing and being all that is needed of me or all that I need from me. I know that writing this thought today will help someone, find the” it” that they seek to do, be and live. I realize even in the typing of this thought that “it” is not elusive, “it” is not far from me and I do not live in pursuit of “it”. I live in the midst of “it” and on my very best days, as “it”.

What is IT? Well, I think that there is a little something or other, a running thread, a ray of light, a blessing that present in each of us. For some of us it is to do a particular thing, for others it may become this or that, for others it is to create something and the list goes on. My point is that we all have something that is ours to do. I believe that we all have a Divine purpose and that we are expressions of Divine ideas in the world. I know that there is a vision for each of our lives that is so much greater than anything we could ever imagine and that very vision that is held for us is ours to do, ours to live and this life is ours the journey to take. God, Buddha, Spirit, Jesus, The Oneness, Bahaullah, The Silence – has already done what we would think of as the hard part and imagined for us and now all that we have to do is to be, teach, speak, lift up, hold space, understand, listen and live.

“It” is the always present to us, through us and as us. Really, we are what we seek… It is easy to think that everything exists beyond our being and lately, I have been really resting in the thought and realization that God is not distant, doing things to me and hanging out in a place that I may never see. I see God everywhere present (here and now); in the movement of the air, in the current of the flowing river, in the grace of the rising sun and in the spirit of each person that I encounter. When I look at everything through this lens, it changes… everything becomes so much more. The sky is bluer, the grass is greener, sound of children laughing in the distance becomes more real and distinct, the sound of the falling rain is more rhythmic and if I stop what I am doing in the moment, I can even feel myself becoming much more. This more that I speak of is not quantitative, but qualitative. In short, “it” gets better and better.

So today my friends our task is to bring it, to bring the more that we already are into being in our lives and in the world. Bring the song in your soul, bring the writings and drawings that no one has ever seen, bring the stories that spin from your lips, bring the skill of your hearts and hands, bring the art that is alive within you, bring the laughter, bring the joy, bring the peace, bring the abundance that is YOU. What if we were willing to have a new thought about the scripture (Malachi 3:10) from the Bible that speaks of bringing the whole tithe into the storehouse… as being more than what we have or more than what we earn and consider who we are? What if we brought all of who we are (right here, right now) into the storehouse? What if…? I’m willing, are you?

My prayer today is that together we bring it and bring all of it! Make today your best day!

Namaste,
Kathy