Where Do Blessings Come From?

Blessed to be a blessing: Where do the blessings in our lives come from? Are they born? Are they delivered and left alone outside of our doorways? Do they spring up from the earth like a tree planted by the still water? Do they simply appear out of everything and nothingness? After pondering this thought individually and in community, we assert that we believe that blessings are many things and everything: we see them born of, forged from within and brought forth into being from blessing itself. In other words, healing comes from the both the brokenhearted and wholehearted. Love comes from the act of loving and the gifts of being loved. Peace is called out of the chaos and from the peace filled. The subtle truth that came to light as we examined this was that we had to look deeply at ourselves first. So as we sat and looked inwardly at our being; what showed up mightily was grace, mercy, hope, prosperity, determination, courage, loss, curiosity, strength, fear, brokenness, shadow, void, glory, loneliness, tears, laughter, worth, lack, disappointment, pain, joy, healing, conscious awareness, acceptance, flow and openness. All this and so much more was reflected back to us soul level. The blessing that we were in search was not simply to know and name the blessing, but to know and be one with its source. This was a blessing indeed, as we know that there is no good thing withheld from any of us at any moment and is revealed in us according to our very own level of receptivity. So we share this with you in the hope that you too will take a risk and look in and around your lives to see and take hold of what is reflected back to you and know its blessing. Know that there is both deep truth and great power in the question and the answer and that the answer is never very far from the question and all too often is contained therein. Blessed be…

Real or Make Believe?

On Real or Make Believe:  We are not now nor will we ever be the sum total of our experiences, the manifestation of the perceptions of others, nor are we the Aristotelian essence of what some might call a hot mess.  These are all ideas that may have been projected upon us like images upon a screen.  Even in that scenario, the screen remains intact as the screen (its identity is unchanging and unimpacted by these external projections) and it never becomes nor identifies with the image shown upon it.  So beloved, I said all this to simply say that we never become what is thought about us, perceived of our actions, or projected upon us, unless we choose to do so.  What others think of us is really none of our business; even in the moments that we are told that they are telling us for our own edification, growth or to help us become better or more.  So with that, I invite you today to remain intact or hold it all together as the blessed being that you are right now and have always been.  What is projected upon you this or any day is neither true nor is it your truth.  Be well my friends and know that you are loved!

Big Question: What are you living for?

On This or That:  The question that weighs on my mind, body and soul today is, “What are you living for?”  This question has been with me for quite some time and really came to light as I listened to an acquaintance describe how they see the world.  For some of us, there is always this undertow of for or against, in support of or in opposition to and one has to declare a position in one of these camps.  Huh, I guess this works for many and even for me at a point in my life, until today.  This day, I declare first within myself that it is high time for new reckoning of spirit that makes room for both sides of an issue, argument, position or picture without relegating some to a lesser majority and others to a superior minority.  Back to the question, if I am living for something; does that also mean that I am living against something else?  Perhaps what I am trying to say is that I would rather not have my living be a dividing point, but more of a point of convergence of the soul.   I can wear myself out by living against grain, trying to fly against the wind, rising up against my brother or sister or even just wanting to always be right instead of wrong.  I live for the beauty and support of those fleeting “both and” opportunities that allow us to discover value and honor in unexpected faces, to notice the extraordinary hidden amidst the mundane tasks and to hear the magnificence that is tucked lovingly at the center of the silence and acknowledge the courage that may be momentarily clothed in fear.  You see beloved I do not for one moment believe that we called to be “either or” people; I know that we are souls that move to a rhythm that is comprised of the many tunes and tones.  Yet with that, I declare that we are “both and” people living for good.  So I invite you to look at how you are choosing to spend your energy for or against and if only just for today; choose to make room inwardly and outwardly for all that serves and supports your journey.  In this moment, this is how I’m living and hope that you will join me in heart space where there is always plenty of good room just for you.  I am committed to always keeping life, love and laughter real; because they are indeed the main thing among many things.  Happy Friday!

Oh Shift!!

Oh shift! Even the slightest of movement is a sign of life. I believe that phenomenal and global shifts in consciousness, economics, life and the like are comprised of everyday shifts. Those everyday shifts are found in the brief moments when something during the day does not go according to our plan, to do list or pattern. Those momentary shifts are life slightly changing direction. 
 
For years of my life, everything was all about me… What I wanted, needed, had to get done and I could go on. Then I heard my soul say, “Oh shift!” This was a warning to me that something was happening and all I needed to do was be ready to Move. I wish that I could tell you that I heeded that warning, but I didn’t. I should have kept listening, because the shift that I experienced, was my life becoming more about others than myself. All of a sudden, I was the last thing on my mind. There was a shift in my soul’s paradigm and the key that was tucked away is that my life became MORE… the moment, I learned the value of the Law of Circulation. By giving I created physical, emotional, financial, professional, personal, artistic and prophetic room to receive. The reality was that everything in my life had to go in order for everything in my life now to manifest. At the time that list of evacuees included my relationship, my home, my job, my dream, my stuff and my very self. There was no level of my life untouched and unshaken by this shifting. 
 
Eventually, I woke up and saw what was happening and heard the cry of my soul not in response to what was happening, but as a gentle soundtrack for the slightest of movements in my life. Today, I know the truth, our value is not found among what we have or struggle to hold onto; it is nurtured, blessed and becomes more by a very simple act; giving. The lesson I learned is that giving is much more gentle process than to be surprised by the grand exodus of all that we hold dear.

Reflections

What are you looking for?  I sat talking with a friend of mine this morning as she was considering giving away all of her worldly possessions to find and grow closer to God.  As I listened, I momentarily found myself looking around and making a list of things that I wanted.  After all, she was giving it all away.  What I got during those moments is that the divine seemed distant or rather we seemed distant from a divine perspective.  I started to smile and as she leaned forward to bring back to the moment, I felt that the searching was over, complete, done and finished.  Because this was not a conversation about material things, this was a much deeper conversation/revelation than about us.  This conversation was about wanting and needing more truth, peace, joy and hope in that God shaped space within.  The more we talked, laughed and cried; we both realized that until we are willing to give away the greatest gift that we have; our love.  That nothing in our lives or our world would change.  You see change is not a cause; it is an outcome or a response to something in our lives.  In that room, I heard call of a different sort; it was a call to return to truth, to love, to me and when I find me; give that away and then I will have found that for which I have been searching a lifetime.  In other words, there is no real distance between me and my divine self – we are one.  The very reason that there is a God shaped space in my life is because in and out of that space is from where my goodness and worth flows and I am not that different than any of you.  Beginning today, I invite you to be willing to look no further than your own reflection for what you need.  As you find it, release it and make room for its abundant return to you.  Make that connection and you will see what God sees in and as you. 

Into the Light…

Here I go.  Here I come.  Here I am. Here is where I have always belonged.  Believe it!

Here I sit nearing the threshold of my 47^th year in this body.  When I think of the things I have learned I am overwhelmed with gratitude and yet when I think of the amount of things that I may have forgotten, I am saddened by their departure and ultimate absence.  For these were memories of moments once treasured as dear, deep connections to people I once knew as friends, vivid images of beautiful places that I once stood victorious as I trace the faded impressions of my pencil that once recorded the words and thoughts that illumined my mind.  All of that is no more…  Some would say, gone and forgotten, I say simply given.  Gone, Lifted, Shed, Released, Shared and Forgiven!  For the glory of their presence with me and as a part of me I was once fulfilled, today I am free.  Not just free of them; freed by them and thus the reciprocal is also true; they are freed by me.  This thought, brings me great joy.  I know freedom as opposed to knowing only of it.  I know myself as free.  Free of all of the expectations that I once held as facts that shaped my very being and directed my path.  Free to taste things that I have been programmed to dislike.  Free to walk paths that once paralyzed me with fear.  The greatest freedom is to know my own healing; not as an act or a way, but as the reflection of my being in the world.  I am healed, I am free, I am… more of me here and now, and with each passing breath. 

I realize that I was just like Carol Anne in the 1982 film, Poltergeist.  I was told “Stay away from the light. The light is dangerous. Don't go near it. Don't even look at the light.”  Furthermore, I believed it and I did as I was told.  Today I hear a new message that comes not from my family, my mentors, advisors or instructors or others; it comes from my soul.  I hear from the deepest places of my higher self, “You are the light; the light is safe and welcoming.  Run!  Run with all your might and fling yourself with reckless abandon into her arms!  She will catch you; the light that we are will always reach out beyond our belief and catch us.  Look for it and see it in others!  Look at its resonance in the world!  Look into it and see yourself as yourself; for yourself!  So, into the light I go.  Into the light I come.  Into the light, I am forgiven.

In Light & Love,

Kathy

This Is My Story - To Be Continued...

Recently, I was reviewing the requirements to apply for CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) and one of them is to attach a copy of my spiritual autobiography. Over the last few years since entering the ordination process, I have had to write multiple iterations of this story, so I pulled up the last copy and I read through it. By the time that I got to the end, I was in tears… My heart was open and my soul was stirred. Not because of the events of the story, but because all of the events that I described are a part of the past tense version of the story, and I have not just survived; I have moved through them and there is so much more of the story that has unfolded since I last hit print and attached a copy to an application. I have become more of the person that I was always becoming and still there is more of the journey and more of the story ahead of me.

I realized that the stories of our lives are not a finite description of our life experiences, it is a continuum. I am a soul in evolution. We are souls on the move. This morning as I write this, I am different from the person I was when I fell asleep last night. I move forward through and beyond my circumstance. I grow, I change, I evolve, I live, I learn, I AM. Truth is; I am more than my story. This has always been the case; I just did not see it that way. There is more to all of us than what can be captured between once upon a time and happily ever after. There is so much more. My story used to confine me and I thought that I could not break free. That is no longer the case, today I am freer than ever because the story of what was is too small of a box to live and minister from. I stand shaped by the blessings of the past, embraced by the power of the now moment and with the heart of a dreamer and the soul of a visionary; I look toward the future.

Today, I turn the page and pick up a new pen and tell a new story that does not dismiss overcoming the things that people said I could not do, today my life is filled with people who support the journey of what I can do and who I was born to be. Today, I live in the land of Yes I can, because that is what’s in me to do. This is a part of my soul’s purpose in this life.

My life is more than just a story that is captured in words on a page; today my life is set to a different beat that comprises a new song and a new way of being more of me.

For today, this is my story and with each passing moment; it is to be continued…