Here I sit nearing
the threshold of my 47th year in this body. When I think of the things I have learned I
am overwhelmed with gratitude and yet when I think of the amount of things that
I may have forgotten, I am saddened by their departure and ultimate absence. For these were memories of moments once treasured
as dear, deep connections to people I once knew as friends, vivid images of beautiful
places that I once stood victorious as I trace the faded impressions of my
pencil that once recorded the words and thoughts that illumined my mind. All of that is no more… Some would say, gone and forgotten, I say
simply given. Gone, Lifted, Shed,
Released, Shared and Forgiven! For the
glory of their presence with me and as a part of me I was once fulfilled, today
I am free. Not just free of them; freed
by them and thus the reciprocal is also true; they are freed by me. This thought, brings me great joy. I know freedom as opposed to knowing only of
it. I know myself as free. Free of all of the expectations that I once
held as facts that shaped my very being and directed my path. Free to taste things that I have been
programmed to dislike. Free to walk
paths that once paralyzed me with fear.
The greatest freedom is to know my own healing; not as an act or a way,
but as the reflection of my being in the world.
I am healed, I am free, I am… more of me here and now, and with each
passing breath.
I realize
that I was just like Carol Anne in the 1982 film, Poltergeist. I was told “Stay away from the light.
The light is dangerous. Don't go near it. Don't even look at the light.” Furthermore, I believed it and I did as I was
told. Today I hear a new message that
comes not from my family, my mentors, advisors or instructors or others; it
comes from my soul. I hear from the deepest
places of my higher self, “You are the light; the light is safe and
welcoming. Run! Run with all your might and fling yourself
with reckless abandon into her arms! She
will catch you; the light that we are will always reach out beyond our belief
and catch us. Look for it and see it in
others! Look at its resonance in the
world! Look into it and see yourself as yourself;
for yourself! So, into the light I go. Into the light I come. Into the light, I am forgiven.
In Light & Love,
Kathy
